So most of you that know me well thought that I had been single, more or less, for the past year and 8 months. Well the truth is, I lied. The truth is that I have fallen in love and am not sure what do to do about our status as my imminent return to the States becomes evermore present. At first I was sure it was lust. I thought it was all about the excitement of our new experiences shared together, puppy love on steroids only further enhanced by great weather, enchanting nights out and enough possibilities that one can't help but feel overwhelmed. It, like all relationships, has had its ups and downs. There have been lulls where it seemed like we both needed some change, but those few moments have been staggeringly outweighed by the times that my life could not possibly have felt better than in that present moment, the two of us together. At some point years ago, my Mom told me that if a love is meant to be, that it will always be there. If two are truly destined by the gods, that they will inevitably be drawn back together. If the love is fleeting, than both will go off their separate ways. The hopeless romantic that I am, I can only hope that these fairytale endings really happen in our present world. I can't say that I hope for one result and not the other, only that I hope for the result which leads to my utmost happiness. Its painful to think of leaving her, we've been together almost two years now, so many amazing memories and now that I'm leaving, all the bad ones...wait, were there really any bad ones? But isn't this way it always go, once things come to an end, if there is any doubt, only to good memories come to mind? Now I can't help but think that maybe I took her for granted a little too much, that maybe had I put a little more in that I would have gotten back what was necessary to stay together. I feel like I did my best to show my love. I feel like I was cognizant of how special our situation was. But I can't help but wonder, hope, despair, lament, or be grateful for everything that was, is and will or won't be in the future. Is it possiblee that this is really it? Just like that its over, we say our goodbyes and go off in search of somebody else. Im not even sure anybody else could make me feel this way, will I ever get back that feeling that we had? I feel like I want to vomit, no seriously. Constantly on my mind, whether consciously or not. But this is what love does to us, it makes all crazy. We lose sight of reality, we blur the past, we cloud the future. But the decision has been made, on June 26th I will catch my flight to New York. At this point that is about the only thing that I am sure of. On June 26th, whether forever or not, Barcelona,Spain and I will break up.

I think that change is inevitable and I think that change is good. I think it is when we grow the most, whether we want to or not. Just because we grow however, does not mean that it is an easy thing to do or enjoyable experience. Ever since my realization that I have a date to be home by occurred, I started experiencing my own growing pains. I've done my best to enjoy exactly what I have in exactly this moment, but it has been a challenge knowing that I won't have what I have now in a matter of months. I've referred to home, or the idea of it, in a few of my posts. And as I've mentioned, I've felt at home here basically since I came. I think our home is basically that place which allows you to be you, without worrying about fitting an image or achieving some standard. It is where you find peace with your present situation and are allowed to follow the path in which you are best-suited. Barcelona has been my home and what Im soon to find out when I get back to the States is where my home will reside in the near future. I feel like a few months outside of my glass box will be a good eexperience, however painful it might be. Whether I decide that I really am fulfilled here or simply enjoying the ease and comfort with which I live my life, doesn't matter. What matters is that I see it for what it is and thus will be ready to choose my next step.

So what's on the platter you ask? To start, I'm headed back to Calistoga and to my house where I'll live with my Mom. Maybe a few months maybe more, maybe less, I really don't know right now. I think I'll look for a job as a server in a nice restaurant or maybe work in a winery and am willing to work a lot in hopes of saving some money. Afterwards, well thats the thing, I dont know the next chapter yet. The way I see it, there are a few options. For one, I've applied through the Spanish government to teach English here, somewhere in Spain. I'm not sure where I would go, but regardless, if given the job would make very strong considerations in returning. I would be working 12-15 hours per week and making 700 euros per month, which would be very good pay for the amount of time worked. With my extra time, I would find another job (hopefully, depending on where I went) and actually save some euros. It would be a solid option both according to something that would be really enjoyable as well as make financial sense. Another idea would be to possibly move to San Francisco. If, while home, I decide that I'm ready, I could look for a job and see if I find something that both interests me and pays the bills. Maybe I'd look into grad school, maybe I'd find a job in a field related to either physical therapy, kinesiology, exercise science, etc. If I do decide to go to grad school, it would most likely be after having gotten a years' worth of experience under my belt and re-acclimated myself to 'the system.' Another avenue would be to take whatever money I save at home and move to South America and most likely, Buenos Aires, Argentina. I have a number of friends from the area and I think that if I invested my effort, I would be able to find a job to support myself. The issue of not having legal papers is not as big a deal as it is here in Spain, and it would be a new experience in a new city that I have heard only great things about. The pay is not as good as here in Barcelona, but if I moved there, it wouldnt necessarily be forever. I would be able to continue with my Spanish and would no doubt have yet another incredible adventure. If things don't work out, if I don't like it, if I don't find a job, whatever the case may be, I'd come home knowing that I gave it my best and wouldn't be left wondering 'what-if.' In a nutshell, The Barcelona Experiment version 2.0. Also on the agenda would be finding a cause that I would like to volunteer my time for. I would go to Central or South America, speak Spanish and give my time for something bigger than myself (sorry for the lame cliche). I love animals, I love nature. I think I would like to do something related to forest or species preservation. Its possible that I would go in another direction, but this is what I'm thinking at the moment anyway.

Oh yeah, and I'm broke. To any of you whom are thinking, 'Wow, those sound great, I wish I could do that.' Now ask yourseelf, are you comfortable with a lack of financial stability? Are you comfortable not knowing where you will live in 6 months time? Would you trade all that you have to have the experiences that I've had and the freedom to choose what to do next? My freedom does come with a price. I don't have money to fall back on, I don't have a house or a car or furniture. In fact, pretty much all I have aside from amazing friends and family are the experiences that have made me who I am today and my time. I assure you, I worry about money matters, I would like to have a family one day, I would like to have a house, a car, furniture. But right now, I've decided that these things are not the most important thing to me. I have chosen my freedom and with that, the lack of real responsibility that comes with it, in favor of the comfort of seeing my resume and bank account continue to grow. If you are still on the same page as me, if you are willing to make that sacrifice, than why haven't you?

'Time is money, ' that's what they say anyway. Has anybody conisidered that maybe time is more valuable than that? Today I am 26 years old, 3 months, and 12 days old. This is the only instance that I will have today, at no other point will I be able to come back to where I am now. There is no amount of money that I could make that will buy me back my day and my life today. Maybe if I could I would save today, and give it to myself in the future, but I can't. Time is not money, time is more valuable than money and I would not trade the life I have for money in the future. I have come to terms with this idea. I am willing to live this period of my life without money with the hopes that down the road, when things that require money arrive, the money will come. Sounds naive, yes, but I am willing to make that gamble. Because for me, my youth and freedom is the most valuable thing that I have and therefore I do not regret investing my time in this pursuit. For many, however, and I'm not saying I'm right and everybody else is wrong, this is not the case.

Which brings me to my immediate future and a factor as to why I'll come home broke. I'll be done here at the hostel as of the first of June and will shortly after catch a plane to Athens on the 4th. The plan is to soak up a little culture and a lot of sun on the Greek Islands and then make my way up to Croatia. I really wanted to visit Finland, but both financial and logistical reasons made it impossible. Trust me, Im not complaining, in fact I'm really looking forward to both Greece and Croatia. Two places that during my time as a hostel receptionist have continually been urged to visit. I'm also hoping that my Greek friend Kostas will be able to accompany me to act as both official translator and tour guide, at least for my time spent in Greece. I really don't feel like expressing HOW excited I am, suffice to say that I am very ready to see the two.

So where does that leave us? So many questions, so few answers. It will be a time of growing pains and lifelong memories. It is a time of instability and freedom. I've come to yet another metaphorical fork in the road and I can only hope that I am true to myself and capable of making the next chapter as enjoyable as the previous. In the meantime, I will try to breathe in deeply and let the moment permeate my lungs, such incredible moments these are.

Ok, so maybe I never actually live up to the promise of more frequent posts, so I dont blame any of you whom have given up on reading, but if you're here, congrats on persevering. I think part of the problem is that any time I actually sit down to write, I feel like the task is too tall, there is too much to write about. Ironically, at the exact same time, I feel like I really don't have anything new to tell. There are no dramatic life changes, nothing tangible enough that if described, it tells its own story. Therefore, everytime, I feel like I have too much to tell about nothing really in particular. So, here is my attempt to write about nothing and turn it into something.

As many of you know, I moved to Madrid for the months of November and the majority of December. I think this is where I last left off. All in all, it was a good experience, but left me feeling like there was so much more that could have been experienced. I worked in a sister hostal there and it happened that my boss decided to open another hostel in Madrid at the same time. Long story short, it meant that I didnt have quite as much freedom as I had hoped for. A new hostel, lacking sufficient workers and on a short budget, meant that some of my free time was compromised. This, coupled with the fact that I was living in the hostel, meant that I never really got out and experienced the city. It was as if opium had been injected into our drinking source, Id lay around the hostel when not officially working, and by doing so, worked more. After a little while, however, I got my act together and signed up for Spanish classes and Yoga classes. Both worked out really well and I cant really say which I enjoyed more. The goal is to find the same routine here in Barcelona (my schedule wont be consistent until February, so Im thinking Ill wait until then). What I did experience of Madrid was really good. The people are amazing, in a few short months I made more local friends than all my time spent in Barcelona. Anybody that has spent anytime in Barcelona knows what Im referring to, the Catalans tend to be a distant bunch, preferring to associate with like Catalans. One cant really experience anywhere without having interaction with those that live there, so in this way, I feel like my experience was more genuine. Madrid is a city that oozes history and is full of Spanish culture. This and the fact that everyone speaks spanish (what a crazy thought, no?) made it a refreshing injection of Spain for somebody that had been living in Catalunya. As much reservation as I had leaving Madrid, when I came back to Barcelona on Christmas Eve, I felt like I was back home again. Since then, Ive missed the people and experiences I had in Madrid, but have yet again, seen Barcelona with a rejuvinated lens.

Part of this new lens, however, has been the realization that people fall in love with the city of Barcelona, not so much the people. For those of you that have been, you all understand how enchanting and vibrant it is. But my opinion is that the people arent what stands out. This is in no way meant to be Catalan bashing, the ones that I know I really like, but the fact is, they are not the most inviting group of people. For this reason, the vast vast majority of my Spanish speaking friends are from South and Central America. Another aspect that has greatly changed my lens is the recent news that Matt Bro (my brother) and Tricia (my soon to be sister in law) have finally set a wedding date in late July. So, for the first time since I moved here, there was a date at which point I had to be back in the States. Though to many of you this may seem like a long ways away or the idea that Ill be here for another 5-6 months may sound like an eternity, but for me, it doesnt seem that far away.

As Ive alluded to before, I feel home here and any time you leave a home, there will be huge mix of sentiments, emotions, and thoughts constantly percolating through the brain. Thankfully, this is not an entirely negative cycle of thoughts. At some point, maybe it was when I visited London, maybe it occurred some random day when somebody asked me for the umpteenth time the same question, maybe it was the realization that I am capable of and want so much more, or maybe it was something that I always knew but had repressed, the thought of going back to the States and persuing a new goal became more attractive. Although Im still not ready to say, 'I cant wait to go home and begin a new chapter,' the thought of doing so doesn't sound quite as repulsive as it would have say, after the first 4 months. 16 months after my arrival, the idea of school, a fulfilling career (or at least a step in that direction), and real world responsibilities is palatable. What I do when I come back is still as big of a question as when I left, but Im now in a much better place to begin something new than I was before I left.

When I moved here, I thought maybe id stay 6 months, maybe 9, maybe a year. I never actually thought that things would work out so well, that Id be so happy and that Id end up staying close to two years. I havent completely ruled out the idea of returning here sometime after Matt's wedding, but I know that there isnt realistically a large probability of that happening. Ive talked with some friends here about the idea called the Peter Pan theory. You know how it is, he lives in a fairytale world, without a care in the world, always knowing that tomorrow will be just as good as today and the day prior. But whether its a fantasy or a problem, hes not really progressing in his life. Its not to say that I havent, but as far as career-minded Derek is concerned, its true. Does this experience forever change me and make me a better future candidate, of course but I feel like Ive come to the point where Im not growing as much here as maybe I could in a different setting. Maybe its that life is too easy here, too good. I honestly feel like everyday is a Saturday, workdays arent stressful, there are no tests to study for, no deadlines to be reached, no public speaches to be given, no bosses looking over my shoulder. I think after the enormous amount of shit I had dealt with the 2 years or so prior to my leaving the States, moving here was exactly what I needed. I needed some time to do nothing and be ok with that, which , im not sure is possible in the States. I needed some time to rediscover who I really am, without dealing with so much heartache and pain and guilt. I needed to see that we aren't all meant to be on the fast track to success, money, status, etc. Basically, I needed to spend some time in one of the most laid back, fun, and exciting cities in the world. But all good things do come to an end, and as hard as it is to think about, nonetheless write, when I come home, Ill be ready for whatever it is that I decide to do.

As the locals say here, Hay Que Aprovocharse, in other words seize the moment, or take advantage of your situation, however you want to translate it (maybe if we are lucky Miss Laura Kusnyer aka Big Wig People in Spanish translator will give us the official translation at some point). The point is, I have another 5 1/2 months to play Peter Pan and live in Never-Never-Land. The only difference being that when the moment comes to choose my approaching fork in the road, it will most likely include many of the things that I desired so much to leave in the first place. And the cylce continues....

So, this is the last official offer to all of you to visit me. A golden oppurtunity is slipping through your hands, you know it, I know it. Well leave it at that. Hope you are all enjoying the new year (except for Alhadeff, Kahil, and Ruben, I hope youre all having a terrible year) and preparing for my return in July.

The summer has all but past so I will now take some time to give a state of the Derek address.

So where to begin? I realize its been awhile since my last blog, but it hasnt been due to uneventfullness. Only three months since then but I cant even remember where or who I was when that was written. Have I changed as a person drastically? Aside from the tan, Id say probably not too much physically, but hopefully I have made some steps mentally and emotionally. Coinciding with the change of seasons, it is also my one year anniversary here in BCN. A year ago I came here as an adventurous, hopeful, and probably completely oblivious as to what I was to embark upon.

As is the case with life, we all have our ups and downs and I think at the moment I am actually building my way out of a little rut that I had been in. There is no place like where you grew up, no way to recapture the feeling that only 'home' can bring, but for all intensive purposes, this is now my home. I think with that comes a feeling of contentment, a feeling that there is always tomorrow, a feeling that there is no need to continue to push yourself further than what is comfortable. Home is comfortable, you know your home, you dont have to ask questions. But that is the problem, I recently noticed how comfortable I had got in my own routine, and lost the adventurer within me. I realized that by being so comfortable with my daily routine that I was cheating myself of so many possible experiences, so many possible conversations, so many possibilities. I dont know when or how, but it struck me with such force that I havent been able to get it out of my mind for a week or two now. You know how when you first get a puppy, it has an endless amount of energy and exuberance, never ceasing to run, and play, and entertain? And then as time goes on, that slowly fades and eventually dies completely? But, if you take that old dog and move to a house in the country with miles of green hillside to roam and birds to chase and shady trees to rest under, you see the puppy within once again. Well, im not sure I ever became the old dog, but I definately feel like the rejuvinated puppy.

I have recently fallen in love with the city all over again. I had a rare weekday off and took an impromptu walk through the Barri Gotic, literally one minute from my house. With a guide book to aid my steps and knowledge, I began to see an already amazing part of the city as something much more. Barcelona was known as Barcino 2000 years ago and the remnants of Roman culture are scattered throughout the city. Many street names still reference the city that this one was eventually built on top of. On my way to work I walk past a tiny street (that nobody knows about accept tour guides I would imagine) which houses 3 roman columns dating back 2 thousand years. An apartment has been built around it (although previously I think it was a building to protect and monitor its safety) and thus these people have Roman ruins within their complex. I heard a tour guide mention that there is one column that has actually been built around. So some people have a Roman column protruding through their apartment and up through the roof. After I walk by this street, I walk around the backside of the originally Catherdral built in the 13th and 14th centuries and then eventually proceede through one of the two main gateways that led into the city of Barcino with a portion of a re-built aqueduct still in tact as well as two oppsoing watch towers. Really cool. If I was a history buff, Id cram more of this down your throat, but Ill stop there.

This past weekend, the city festival known as La Mercé occurred. Apparently the Sant of Mercy disbanded a plague of locusts and since then, this festival has commemorated the event as well as the transition from summer to fall. Personally, I think it is just another excuse for the Catalans to throw a party. Numerous live concerts scattered throughout the city, many taking place in plazas that have been existence for hundreds if not thousands of years. I think the contrasts that can be found here are part of the reason that it is such a universally loved city. Like no other city that I have been to, seemingly opposite characteristics co-exist in complete harmony. The city is old and exudes culture and history, but now you can´t help but feel its youth and life. Even the elderly here live an active life, staying out until the late hours, taking advantage of all the city has to offer. You can't find another city that is so laid back, yet so cosmopolitan and eventful. Its true that even in a city as big and busy as Barcelona, eventhough many from around the world have moved here, the pace of life is that you might only expect in a small pueblo outside of a main city. People don't take coffee to go, they sit down and enjoy it. Who cares if Im five minutes late. People don't eat and drive, why not just eat the food I buy where I buy it? The list goes on, but the fact remains the same that the people here really know how to appreciate la vida buena. At the same time, there are a neverending amount of things to do, places to go, and new places to explore. Anyway, back to La Mercé...Parades, human castle building, and a fountain/firework/music show that would put be the Bellagio to shame highlighted the 3 day festival. I spent much of the time with some new friends and have recently made some progress with my Spanish. I feel as though I am progressing through a long plateau and that the language is beginning to slow down a little and I´m beginnning to blurt things out without having to construct it in my head beforehand. Don't get me wrong, Im still a long long ways from where Id like to get, but its nice to finally feel like im getting somewhere.

I was hoping that my mom would be able to visit me at some point in October, but when those plans fell through, I decided to still take some time off. As of now, the plan is to visit my friend in Madrid for a day or two and then head over to Portugal, a place that I have wanted to see since I arrived but never had the time to do so. I am looking for any firsthand advice from those that have gone or if you know anybody there, please let me know. As of now, where I go is still up in the air. Being the alcoholic that I am, I think I'll head to Oporto for a few days, if for no other to drink some good wine and of course, Port from Oporto-should be a treat. Im not sure if Ill go to Lisboa or not as I tend to like smaller cities. I think Ill head down to the south, the algarve, which is known for its innate beauty and picturesque beaches. Im contemplating a trip out to the island of Madeira, where, coincidentally enough, Madeira (another after dinner drink) is produced.

Aside from visiting a good friend in Madrid, the reason for stopping by Madrid is that I am planning on moving there for about a month and a half from early November through Christmas. At first I hesitated when offered the oppurtunity to work in our other Sant Jordi Hostel, but after a little thought and sparked by my renewed adventurere within, I saw what a great chance it is to learn about a new city, to have new experiences, and to give myself a change of pace. I will have more responsibility down there and will most likely choose to live in the hostel, but otherwise, I am really looking forward to it.

As far as how I long I plan on staying.....not sure. I know now that I will stay through the holidays and am tentitavely planning on travelling with my mom and brother sometime in the spring, most likely March. So that puts me here through March and afterwards, well I haven`t got that far yet. I know I need to plan for the future, but I am having an amazing time living in the present and have had difficulty with the idea of leaving a place that has given me so much. I only know one person who left without ever looking back (you know who you are-you are smart, brown haired, attractive, and like to run) and I guess for me its really haired to think about the day that I would actually DECIDE to go. I would love to hear from you all, read a state of the _______ address, so please send me at least a quick email about what you are up to and any pertinent gossip. At least post a message to this page if the idea of writing an email seems too daunting.

Im lazy with photos, so I will either add some to here in the next few days or post them on my facebook account.

Venga
Adeu

So, it finally happened, I had both my phone and wallet stolen recently. Here is what is strange, they were stolen from a locked locker in the mens changing room of my gym. I had gone to the beach after working out (yeah, there is beach access from the gym) to get a little sun and when I returned, the locker was open and my phone and wallet were gone. Thankfully, I had taken my ipod with me to the beach. To think of a life without my ipod is virtually the same as a life without puppies, kittens and belgium beer. Anywho, for those of you that call me, thats about 2 of you, my new number is +34 617 294944.

Last night was the festival of sant juan. It is a celebration of the summer solstice and the night is lit by fireworks and a number of summer firecrackers. It´s the biggest beach party of the year and full of locals and tourists alike. Kostas (my friend from the hostel) and I met up with Veronica (a good friend of mine from Argentina) and went to a bbq on a rooftop terrace prior to the festivities on the beach. I cant go to a bbq without thinking of the states, good times spent with friends, and warm summer nights. As often happens when people get drunk, itineraries blur and people lose sight of their plans. After what seemed like hours, we got to the beach, found some cold beer and took our place on the beach. The party scene had died down some, but there were still a monton of people all their for the same reason. As the sun began to rise, so to did my feeling that I am so lucky to be here and living in an almost surreal state. Moments and days pass where happiness is my underlying feeling. Here, it has become my bassline mood. I think most people float through their day, their are highs and lows, but the bassline feeling is not one of joy, maybe its contentment. For me, if Im not happy, something must be really wrong. Sometimes I feel like a little kid, oblivious to the tradgedies and hardships of this world. Obviously, I am not oblivious to how cruel this life can be, but my life here has teased me with how pleasant this world is and how much it can give.

some things that I did today (for all the list lovers of the world)
-moseyed through park ciutadella.
-watched some Brazillians performing caiporhera (a mixture of dance and martial arts) to music
-watched some couples dancing the tango on a gazebo
-had a gelato (went with coconut and chocolate truffle today)
-watched some basketball players that I would massacre in a game
-yup, about it, a day of rest after a long night

What Im Listening to at the Moment:
Wilco

What Im looking forward to:
Summercase www.summercase.com

What I miss about the States at the moment:
Sunday dinners on the patio with the fam

My new favorite pizza from Pizza del Born:
queso de cabra-goat cheese

My currant favorite type of gelato:
dulce de leche

In response to Will´s top 10 fruits, here are mine (keep in mind this assumes, top quality, perfect ripeness):
1-peach on a warm day
2-watermelon
3-strawberry
4-pineapple
5-blackberry
6-nectarine
7-granny smith apple
8-banana (it is very versatile, its filling, it goes well with peanut butter and icecream alike, but in and of itself, it is not the best tasting)
9-green grapes
10-honeydew melon

There, now wasnt that entertaining. Thats all I got. Call me.

Everything Changes, Everything Stays The Same

Isn't this an interesting concept? On first glance, this appears to be an oxymoron, but as time goes on (which is all it does), this idea seems to nudge its way into my path frequently. Both parts are inherently wrong of course, but there is a truth to it that can´t be denied. I guess this thought has crept into my head most recently because a few people that I have became good friends with, have left me. The longer I stay, the more people I meet, the more people that leave me. Constant change, just like always.

Sometimes when people leave, you never think about them again. They made their mark on your life, there is no doubt in that, the footprint is there whether you'd like it to be or not. But they are not integral to the person that you will become. And sometimes when people leave, you are left with a moment of complete shock-like wow, I will really miss this person a lot. It leaves an initial emptiness, but in time, you will meet more people and make new memories and in some way try to fill that void. But as much as you may try to kick some dirt over the hole, it will always be there and those memories will always belong to the two of you. Nobody else will ever fill your holes for you and its just as good that this is the case. And in these initial moments post-departure, you may find yourself surprised by what comes to mind. You may find thoughts and feelings that you never knew existed, that didn't exist until now, or that you knew existed and did your best to cover up. It can be a tough task to figure out from which well these emotions came, but once that person has left, there isn't much to be done about it-it is what it is. So is it better to know of a pending departure and invest energy into finding how you feel, or is it better to deal with whatever it is (and remember, it may be nothing, a fleeting glimpse) once it has happened? I have always tried to be true with myself, but in these moments I find myself questioning whether or not I could have been more open with myself. Why do I feel differently now that the person has gone? Did I ever appreciate them fully? There are no guarantees in either friendships or relationships and all will end someday. What a depressing notion. This being the case, we are left trying to find the things that are true and lasting. So what can be done? A common theme in what I have written is the necessity to live the moment. Like a shooting star, life can only be truly enjoyed the moment it occurs. I think this all that can be done; enjoy the time with those that make you happy, that give you lasting memories, and that help you to figure out something about yourself, the world, whatever it may be. These are the real moments and are the only moments that really matter.

So now as I remember my friends that have left me, I look forward to those that are just around the corner. I look forward to the memories that I have yet to make, but am cautious not to fill my holes with the dirt of others. As my experiences become memories, the only thing Im sure of is that everything will change and by doing so, everything will remain the same.

Enough about stupid Turkey, didnt realize I double dipped it.

4/12/07 Training to Romania (from Sofia)

Yet again, I leave another wonderful city wondering if it was given adequate time or just the right amount. Wonderful people, weather, and enough history to make you want to keep reading. The lulling sounds of the train over the tracks is complemented nicely by the purplish haze looming over the nearby mountains. my time spent in Sofia wasnt as much af a culture shock (accept for the cryllic alphabet) as I had expected/sought but my experience was much more than I could have predicted. Their are large buildings, big businesses and yes, McDonalds. There are people that speak English and those that dont. I think one of the things I take from this place, and the trip in general, is the universiality (word or no?) of life. I have been massaged, scrubbed, and bathed by old Turkish men in Istanbul and consumed homemade wine and rakia (liquid fire at 50% alcohol) in a cave carved into the mountains of the smallest city in Bulgaria. Ive heard the Koran belted over the loud speakers and visited the most holiest of Orthodox monastaries tucked away in the Rila Mountains. But perhaps the most important experience has been the realization that were all the same. Their are certain commonalities that supercede, language, religion, geography; that we all share. I feel that if I figure out what these are, that in some way I will be better off for it. That these truths will give wisdom and that wisdom and knowledge will lead to inner peace and happiness. By no means am I comparing what I am about to write to universal truths, but these similarities were undeniable. Without stating anything profoundly, here are a few things that I have either noticed, enjoyed, or feel like writing:
*little girls love to get dressed up, and boss each other around, while little boys are bored unless if not trying to cause trouble.
*teenagers will smoke and drink in public parks
*puppy love is either nice to see or nauseating, dependinng on your mood
*love is love and beauty, beauty
*a smile and thank you are always appreciated
*dogs love people-people love dogs (except some Muslims)
*people struggle to survive and their pain may or may not be visible
*alcohol is a social lubricant and people will make questionable decisions when using it
*springtime adds a bounce to everyones step
*Women are beautiful--everywhere (especially Bulgaria)
*Taxi drivers are not to be trusted
*Their is no better way to meet somebody than over some bbq and a few beers
*This is stupid and Im now stopping

Again, the people made my experience in Bulgaria. People bend over backwards to help you once asked and live much richer than their means. More later, not sure when, but keep checking in if you want to see what Im up to.

Since Ive been overwhelmed with requests to enlighten you as to my travels and state of mind I decided it was time for an update. After a glorious two weeks spent at home, I embarked on a two week vacation which entailed Istanbul, Sofia (bulgaria), and Brasov (Romania). As opposed to re-writing much of what I had recorded at the time, I will instead copy the journal that I kept at the time. Since it was a journal entry, the writing may not be as refined as you are all used to when reading my work, but without further ado--

4-10-07 Sofia, Bulgaria

I cant begin to think of the present without at least some reflection on Istanbul. Great City-'bout sums it up. It outdid any expectations/pre-conceived notions that I might have had. I cant remember a malevolent soul in my experiences (4/4-4/9). Being from the US its hard to not have some biases against Muslims after 911, but the trip more than reversed those prejudices. It is a city and a country that I would like to come back to. In addition to the great hospitality I received from Aydin (a friend that I had met at the hostel in Barcelona), I met a few guys from the hostel that would be welcome guests anytime down the road. While following the path through the Basilica Cistern (Originally built by Constantine, held water for the city), a sudden compulsion for my fist Turkish coffee came about me. Upon showing some interest, I was invited to have a seat with two men and a woman having lunch. One turned out to be the owner, the other two a colleague and sister. Asli, the sister, turned out to be a travel agent;at first making a sales pitch and later refusing my business on the account of our friendship because there was a cheaper way of doing what I wanted to do.

Hearing the prayer belted over the loudspeakers of the minarets was one of the first and most lasting events that reminded me of where I was. From Aydin ive learned of the parallels to our culture-he is Islamic but doesnt pray five times per day, in fact only his grandmother does. Just like the states where the young people grow up with religion but the churches are normally full of the elder. It was quite a sight to see the people washing their feet outside the mosques and even inside the grand bazaar (giant, covered market place ). Their compulsion with 'cleanliness' only crosses over to absurd when noting their adversion to dogs because they are not viewed as 'clean.' Is there anything more pure than the gait or wag of the tail of a golden retriever puppy?

The carpet salesmen are good at what they do, all of them that I came across were natural salesmen. Nothing felt too forced or contrived. I think the experience of buying my carpet was almost worth the money itself. Youare their sole care in the world at that moment, and who doesnt like getting treated so well. A glass of delicious tea is normally how the process begins, followed by various carpets being thrown around the room and a description of what type of material is used, where its from, and what type of knots were used to make it. Yet they are not too overbearing. Salesmen of all levels must put on their charm, but I sensed an underlaying warmth in almost all. When no sale was made, there was no abrasiveness or contempt. One salesman lured me into his shop even though I made it very clear I wasnt buying anything. We spent the next 20 min talking about my travels (and his) and carpets were never spoken of again.

The people really make the city what it is. Sure, there is much natural beauty and impressive architecture, but all that sits as a backdrop to the genuine hospitality that I was lucky enough to have been presented with.

Part two coming later.