It is sept. 13th, two days before i leave for munchen and oktoberfest. pretty excited about meeting up with my brother and staying in relatively nice accommodations. The reality of my endeavor has now been absorbed and the task, yet accomplihed, seems attainable and even as though i have some say-so as far as where ill stay and what ill do. before, it was like, i just need some place and any job. i know the job situation will be much more difficult to secur, but i hope to land a good gig-most likely as a bartender at an irish pub. ive had a lot of great thoughts and meaningful moments, but there is no way to put all those into words. it is very hard to even remember all of them, but i think the fact that at one point it made sense and went through your head in some way supplants itself into who you are. so it is not important to relay my life altering, mind-blowing, cosmic-shifting realizations and thoughts, but only that i had them.

I find myself in a constant struggle between two differing desires. One part of me wants this to be as foreign and difficult as possible (in the hopes that from the shittiness I grow and become some stronger, a flower from poop maybe if you will). Everytime i step into this realm, i find myself looking for some stability, something to ease my transistion. and then once i find that, i find myself once again wishing to be completely isolated and self supporting. i have made a friend here, a spanish aussie actually, who has acted as my brace to some extent. very cool girl that has for some reason adopted me as her lost puppy helped me so far in getting a good deal on a phone and beginning the apartment hunt. other duties of hers will hopefully include helping me with my resume and finding a job.

last weekend what was once a peaceful weekend in san sebastian for will and i (a romantic getaway but not in the homosexual type of way. kinda like a theme for us, romantic rhine in germany, the alps, quaint little towns, stunning scenery, and late night heart-to-hearts. its actually pretty hard to escape ones romantic side while travelling in western europe, there are so many cozy plazas and moments worthy of being spent with only somebody very special.) anyway, it gave my travelling solo experience a new twist. looking back on my brief solo stint, i realized how much i enjoyed it and how little i enjoy having to mold to others agendas. nuff said, dont travel in large groups, and we didnt for the book, maintained our space and had a quite a relaxing time at the beach and overlooking the city from yet another romantic viewpoint.

so oktoberfest is coming up and i am trying to shake this cold that i have been battling for a few days now. apparently, its hard on your immune system to stay out all night every night and walk all day. since ive gotten back to barca, i have laid low. today i toured a house made by gaudi, casa batllo. yet another time, where words and pictures do little justice, but to enjoy it, you must have an appreciation for almost psychidelic designs and dali-like visions. it was easy to kill a few hours here and was literally 50 yds. from my hostal. not many places do you just walk down the street and find something so amazing. countless times this has happened. walking through the sidestreets of la rambla the other day i come around a corner only to be towered over by the cathedral, which hides in the barri gotic. anyway, okfest is coming and im very excited, prolly blogg it sometime in the next week or so. hope all is well elsewhere, maybe next time i will remember what it is exactly that i have taken from this experience as of now.